I think what I don’t like about writing is the formulas we are expected to follow.  I enjoy writing on my blog most of the time because it is a kind of release valve for me and a way to share my thoughts.  I do not like writing news articles or five-paragraph essays because they are way too structured.

Rant aside, I’ve made some progress on my just-beginning project about veterans in Clallam county.  I’ve interviewed more people and I’ve made a ton of phone calls.  People in contact with or about to be in contact with include:

• Disabled American Veterans
• Veterans of Foreign Wars
• Veterans Conservation Corps
• Peninsula Community Mental Health
• Peninsula College

I don’t always “get” an artists style, but if they execute it consistently and with meaning – I feel bound to at least respect it.  I didn’t get Parr’s Machu Picchu photos and it bothered me for a few days.  In another instance of talking with a photographer far more experienced than me, I have more understanding and better appreciation for Parr’s work.  Actually, Parr’s portfolio is pretty good.  Not really my style, but the portfolio work is more consistent and has a common thread that is discoverable through viewing.

Martin Parr, on the Magnum blog, recently went to Machu Picchu to capture the site as a major tourist attraction.  Parr posted photos and a general recount of his visit.  I can certainly relate to many of the things he has to say, although I might be a little more blunt when describing the bus ride or Aguas Calientes.

The photos, well, I don’t like them at all.  Okay, granted they’re composed better than the average vacation photo and the subjects are not typical vacation photo subjects, but there is nothing in the images that makes me feel something.  Perhaps my expectations of Magnum are too high, perhaps I expect to be held in silent wonder from nearly every photo coming out of the premier photo agency.

In Martin Parr’s defense, I think I understand that he is trying to show the tourism as usual, dull, harmful – something we don’t usually connect with.  The truth is, if I were to put these photos in my portfolio and have them reviewed, I would be told, “you’re not there yet.”

I have photos from the Inca Trail in my portfolio, and I’m not going to try and argue whether or not they are better than Martin Parr’s – the argument is unnecessary and I’m confident that he had a much better idea of what he was going for than I did when I was at Machu Picchu.

In January, I travel to Vietnam to hang out and absorb as much as possible from Kevin German, a freelance photographer, Port Angeles native, and Queen of Angels Alumni.

Next July, I will not be traveling to Malawi.  Time, money, child responsibilities and trip details all led to a trip that was looking less and less like a priority. Another factor has to do with my skills in photography.  It feels kind of odd to travel to the other side of the globe to make a photo story when I can barely (if that) make one at home.

One thing I’ve set my mind on for Vietnam is to be completely open and focus on experiencing, learning, and building relationships.  The act of making photos is less of a priority, and my packing choices reflect that.  I’ll be carrying a film camera with a 35mm wide angle lens and a 50mm normal lens along with a bunch of film, probably a mix of slide film and Tri-X.

Making a difference.  That is why I started this blog, to find ways to make a difference somehow.  This morning I received a surprise email from our sustainability coordinator.  A few months ago, I hopped in a van and went on a sort of field trip with my colleagues.  We toured both Elwha dams and listened to a park ranger tell us about the removal project and subsequent ecology efforts.  As I’m inclined to do, I made a bunch of photos, which can be seen on my flickr account. 

Anyway, in the email, one of the gentleman that attended the trip had this to say:

I’ve looked at those photos from the trip up to the dam several times. He captured something special. It seems he captured the folks that were there with their energy, very well.  I would like to see that project move on.  I would like to see fish in that system.  I wanna be a part in the project moving forward.  Please do what ya can to include me.

It was very kind of him to say such things and it feels good to know that my efforts had some impact.  Personally, most of the photos were not favorite and I posted them for the benefit of the group.  Regardless, its a positive bit of news to come back to when questioning my goals.

Moving on…

We’re running a “24 hours of PC” photo spread in the next edition of the Buc.

I learned a little more about remote flash units, I also learned about relative flash power.  I was hoping the flash would be quite a bit stronger, but with such a long exposure and small aperture, my apparent flash power went down the toilet.  Nonetheless, I did have fun and learned a bit.

Again, the color balance on my flash is off and I’m hoping the gels will come in tomorrow.  Besides that, I’m standing right in front of a pole which drives me crazy to no end.  It was rather difficult to get into position, though, so I only made one frame.

I’ve been shooting quite a bit lately, in fact almost every day finds me shooting another subject.  Partly due to the Buc and partly due to a desire to keep practicing and get better.

I read a great write-up by Alec Soth over at the Magnum Blog that captured advice for young photographers from Magnum shooters.  A lot of the advice boiled down to studying great photography, shoot what you love and shoot a lot.  I had a great chat last night with Kevin German about some of these same topics.

I’m not really sure where my photography interests will take me, but I know I want to do more and I want to say more.  I started a few weeks ago with a small project photographing the preparations and rehearsals for a play at the college.  I failed wonderfully in telling a story.  I made some okay photos, but again, not much that seems to go together.  As Kevin put it last night, “you haven’t showed me something to care about them yet.”  I took a second look and he’s absolutely right.

Kevin pointed me towards Richard Avedon, a photographer I’d heard of and even watched in an interview, but I failed to follow up and take a look at his work.  Simply, many of Avedon’s photos make you want to laugh and cry at the same time.  Avedon is able to capture human emotion with light – the man is a genius.

Shoot what you love.  It seems that family members are a no-go in portfolios, which is a bit sad considering that we tend to be the most passionate about our family members and yet professional expectations pretends that they don’t even exist.  The next thing to family that I love the most is my fellow brothers-in-arms – U.S. veterans.  I’ve been thinking for a while about the idea of doing a story involving veterans.  I kind of have a natural “in” as I am one and it is something that I am very passionate about.

I don’t quite know what the story is yet, I’m still thinking and I’m not sure I even know where to start.  This project will probably take a while, but it’s worth it.  On Wednesday, I’ll be stopping by the V.A. to get more information and begin my research.

Another long day of portraits for the church directory.  My obligation/volunteer work ends with the last Sunday of November.  Five Sundays in a row of family portraits.  The first Sunday, I felt like I was still working out the bugs.  Second Sunday, I started to play a little but kept my lighting consistent for all the official portraits.  Today, I kept my lighting consistent until the end when I was confident enough that I could produce good portraits with creative lighting.

Most of the portraits have been shot with steady, even and boring light.  Two umbrellas, one camera left and one camera right set farther back have produced consistent and even lighting for even the largest groups.

Even lighting across the subjects. (from left) Isaac, Lindsay and Jeremy (me)

 Later, I started moving my flash around a bit.  Lindsay, ever patient with my crazy and usually bad lighting ideas, modeled while I tweaked lights forward, backward, power adjustments, zoom adjustments, and height adjustments.  Shooting film for the last few months has been a blast, but there is no way I could learn about lighting this quickly without shooting digital.  Instantaneous results allows me to adjust within moments.

Lindsay, mother of my adorable son Isaac and a far too patient wife

Three lights were used in the photo above.  One translucent umbrella just out of frame on camera left, a bounce umbrella in upper camera right and slightly behind Lindsay, and a flash right behind Lindsay.  If I were to shoot this again without a time constraint, I would move Lindsay further away from the background.  Also, it would be helpful to have adjustable powered strobes (more than “full” and “half” as settings) so I could stop down the aperture and blur the background more.

I’m heading over to the Strobist archives to see what else I can do with my limited equipment.  I started running out of ideas towards the end and it will be helpful to look at somebody else’s techniques.

Last summer I began asking myself a question: “why do I make photos?”  That question grew louder and louder over the last few months as I concentrate on making better photos.  The “why” has loomed overhead begging for an answer.  As I think about the time spent working on projects, going to events or managing a newsroom, the question demands an answer.

Without a “why” there seems to be no reason.  Without a “why” there should be no sacrifice of time in search of better photos.  Without a “why” it seems ridiculous to pick up the camera in the first place.  This has been particularly bothersome for me lately as my time becomes more and more constrained with family, school and work.  Interestingly, it seems that for me, extreme pressure produces the clearest answers: diamonds if you will.

I can’t say that I’ve found my answer yet, but I think I’m a little closer to understanding.  I’ve never particularly understood them before, but I’ve heard the reasons of others. There are the seemingly generic answers like “save the world” or “make a difference” or “understanding through visual imagery,” but none of them have resonated with me for the length of time that I’ve been taking photos.  I do want to make a difference, but that doesn’t seem to explain why I take a photo of a rainbow over the college campus.

A few weeks ago, I volunteered to make portraits for an upcoming play and possibly put a few photos in the paper.  The first thoughts I had were, “cool, play with lighting; cool, actors/actresses are a dynamic bunch, make some interesting photos with them.”  So, after the portraits (which sucked. really bad. way too much effort for a mediocre/bad result) I switched to candids.  Seeing the opportunity for a story, I began following the rehearsals and lead-up to the play.

I spent time with the cast and director, probably several hours worth of aggregated time.  I would show up and we would all chat.  They would do their thing and I would make photos for an hour or so and leave.  A few days later, I would show up again and repeat.  Throughout the rehearsals I built a relationship, a friendship, with the director and the cast.  We all had fun, joked, teased and worked together very well.

And here is the eureka moment for me: in the end, it’s not about the photos.  It’s about connecting with p-e-o-p-l-e, people.  Lindsay and I went and watched the grand opening of the play and I felt their anxiety, I felt their excitement and I was truly very happy for them.  I had made connections with people that I otherwise would not have.

I watched an Ami Vitale interview where she went off to Africa with her sister, who was in the Peace Corps, and lived in a small village in the middle of nowhere for a year.  I remember Ami talking about living in the village and photography was an afterthought.  It was the life and the living with the people and the connections that were most important.

I don’t know if I’m expressing this very well, but I feel like this is an important step in my growth as a photographer.  The first two long years were about technical quality and equipment.  These last few months I feel like I have a whole new outlook.

Here are my lessons:

1. A camera is just a light tight box that holds film or a sensor
   1. “It’s just a camera, and sometimes I use it” – HCB
2. Photojournalism isn’t about pictures, it’s about people

There is so much to this, I don’t even know where to begin – I don’t know if I could even express it in writing if I wanted to.  This changes everything.

The Buc staff spent most of the day yesterday working on layout, stories, photos and design of the Nov 12 edition of the Peninsula College Buccaneer.  Many interesting challenges and a hard and fast lesson on the stresses of being the Managing Editor.

All that being said, here are the photos that I made and published:

‘The Clean House’ – A project I’ve been working on for a few weeks will end this weekend.

(I have a set of gels on the way to correctly color balance my flash with the gym lights)